1. |
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From sleepless nights I rise to feed a cat that died last year. Among empty bottle shrines, we reached for castles in the sky. Now taxidermic past lives line narrowing walls, and there’s a door I’m too afraid to open (because outside, I’ve tried and failed so many times). But here—like God—I create the clouds that my children live and die within.
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2. |
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Just as I didn’t ask to be alive, you didn’t ask to clean my mess of a life. Now, your ghost has begun to kick, and owing decades’ worth of amends, all I can do is hold your hand—shaky as my promises to get sober. I’ve long worn out, “I’m sorry.” But believe me when I say I’m grateful.
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3. |
Stoned at the Wake
00:42
|
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|
Here begins the familiar dissolution. From behind the crumbling facade of novelty, you see me for the first time. An insect within the refuge of a sidewalk’s crevice, I was never worth your calluses. But I’ll always love you for making me feel as though I was.
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4. |
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When I leave your bed, it will be real life again. I’ll get into my car and forget to put my seatbelt on. When home, I’ll pet my sick cat (because any night might be her last), swallow pills, and fall asleep to a serial killer documentary.
Not to add pressure—I know you’re busy—but I'd love to see you again.
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5. |
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Fuck it if it's heaven,
I just want to die.
Fuck it if it's hell,
I just want to die.
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